Something I've Been Pondering On.

My family and I attend a small church out in the middle of the country. There are about thirty people in the congregation with the majority of it being older couples who have a burning desire to serve the Lord. They are very dear and precious folks who have been wonderful examples to us.
Two Sundays ago, my Mom and I were approached about helping out with the music for the next several Sundays, as our main pianist needed to take some time to rest and recuperate after surgery. This meant that Momma would become the pianist and I would continue to play my French Horn; not a real big change but a change that has us both 'on our toes' to be prepared for piano related sight-reading!

This past Sunday morning was the first day for us... everything went well and the hymns that were sung were so encouraging! As we moved in to the offertory and the special music part of the service I laid my horn aside, picked up the hymn book I had brought with me, and sat down at the piano. The organist and I were to play the offertory together and then I was on for the special music. I was nervous. We don't rehearse beforehand. I'm playing multiple notes and using multiple fingers at one time. I was in a nervous sweat and my hands were slick. I had not had a chance to go over the special that I was to be playing. Granted it was a hymn that I knew well, but having a chance to run through it before-hand helps one feel more confident. I was in a position that my piano teacher had told me about on numerous occasions and attempted to prepare me for.

As I sat there listening to one of the dear older men stand and thank the Lord for the young people in our church and the talents that each one has, my mind was drawn to how the Lord will use a person if they will allow themselves to be used. How much of a blessing and encouragement they can be to others if they would just be willing to give of themselves. How one plays, whether the person performing thinks it's good or bad, doesn't matter as it can be a huge blessing to those listening and will bring honor and glory to the Lord.

As I sat there thinking about this, I realized that it didn't really matter if I was nervous before playing; what mattered was my heart attitude. Was I doing this grudgingly/unwillingly or with a heart that truly sought the Lords' honor and glory through what I was going to be playing. It wasn't that long ago that I would not have been caught dead playing the offertory let alone the special... I didn't think I was good enough (and I still think that), knew that I would mess up, and be so nervous that I wouldn't be able to play the hymn right. But I finally came to the point where I realized that my ability to play the piano and french horn are God given gifts; I shouldn't keep them to myself but instead be willing to use them.

As I pondered these thoughts, I began to ask the Lord to help me convey the message of the hymn as I played. I wanted the focus to be on the Lord and not on me. Yes, I'll admit that I asked Him for a calm heart and hands as I played, but my focus was not on how 'well' I was going to play but on the message of the hymn truly being conveyed. Once I began to play, to feel the solid keys under my fingers, and to hear the words of one of my favorite hymns resound through the room "He leadeth me, oh blessed thought! Oh words with heav'nly comfort fraught..." I knew that no matter how 'bad' my playing was, the Lord was still going to be glorified.

So now you may be asking, "what's the purpose of this rambly post?"... Well, I remember what it was like to be asked to play for a song service (as in 'congregational singing', offertory, and possibly special) or offertory, and the thick ribbon of nervousness that would streak through my system for days or weeks in advance. I couldn't play like the main pianist did or like the others who had these big magnificent offertories, but I could play and that was all that was needed and asked of.

I suppose the point of this post is to encourage any 'players of the piano' (or any other instrument for that matter) like me, to be willing to let the Lord use your talent instead of hiding it. Yes, it's difficult and nerve wracking at first to step out of your comfort zone and play in front of others, but once you take the first step the following ones become easier. When you know that you are going to be playing (this could be days, weeks, or moments before) begin asking the Lord to be your strength at that time. Ask Him to help you convey the message of the hymn, to focus on giving Him the honor and glory instead of seeking your own, and to speak to you through this time.

May we truly seek to use our lives to honor and glorify the Lord!